Ghost Forest

The Bearable Lightness of Being

In reading a few chapters of Paul's letter to the Romans, I cannot sit the Bible down without feeling grateful.

There is a great war raging within us... contending with God and His greatness.

Do you think the earth is big?  There is a vast universe that has not been discovered.

Do you think your problems are big?  They cannot be very big when they are temporary.

Collectively, we humans are nothing more than a family of grasshoppers compared to God's infinite presence.

We argue over things that are meaningless.

We desire things that are lifeless.

We fight against each other because we want something we have not been given.

We cannot stand to lose because deep down, we know we are little and like Lucifer, we want to ascend... we want to win... we want to feel some measure of greatness.

What is this evil that lurks within us and resists our smallness?

I do not find it in any other animal, all of whom are perfectly content with their allotted lives... in spite of our intrusions.  In fact, we show such little consideration to the animals that I am amazed they do not mobilize and revolt against us!  They are kinder and gentler and they do not repay us with evil.

If the creation is fortunate enough, mankind will become extinct and all things living can live gloriously.

Paul's letter has reminded me to show mercy... to myself and to others.  For God knows our frame... that we are frail... that we are ill... that we suffer with an evil that lurks within.  Our minds have been shrouded with darkness.  There is such little light amongst us.

But God has remembered us.  He has called to us out of the heavens.  He reaches out to us in our chaos.  He beckons us home where there are no burdens.  There is only the light of His greatness.

If you would come and sit for a few moments in this light, you will not mind being so small.

My Prayer for America

In the twinkling of an eye, your life can change.

Mine did.

One moment I was riding my bicycle on a sunny street in Los Angeles; the next moment I was lying on the ground screaming in pain, curled up in a fetal position.

 As I was thrown from my bicycle, I watched the bone in my left ankle literally crawl to the other side of my foot. It was like the ‘chestburster’ scene in Alien.

I knew something major had happened to my foot, but I had no idea how severe it really was and how it was going to change my life forever.

The first thing out of my mouth was, “Oh God, what have I done?”

You see, I am a Christian. I have spent half my life wrestling with the Scriptures and searching for divine wisdom. What that simply translates to is:

I was not happy with the person I was and I wanted to change the things I did not like about myself. I actually believed if I could change myself, I could change the world. Even then, over 30 years ago, I knew the world needed changing.

Perhaps the time has come.

As I waited for the ambulance to arrive, my brain was already racing, combing through my life to identify any area where I was doing something wrong – something that might move God’s hand to teach me a lesson I would never forget.

As people ran out of their houses to see if I was alive or dead, no one knew what was running through my mind. No one knew that this was a child of God lying on the sidewalk – a child that has tasted the heavenly gift.

I know no other way to say it, so let me say it as honestly as I can.

I possess something within my mind that cannot be seen – an understanding of an ancient book that has infused my life with strength, meaning, clarity and true peace.

As a young woman, I hungered and thirsted for truth. No meal could satisfy the hole in my gut. No drink could quench my thirst.

I felt empty and alone. My spirit was sick and I did not know it.

I searched for a teacher – someone that could help me understand what was going on inside of my head, someone that could help me make sense out of this world, and someone that could show me the way to wholeness.

I did not know then that the word ‘holy’ is actually ‘wholly’ – if a person is holy, that person is whole. It means a person is operating at 100% God-given capacity in their body, soul, mind and spirit. 

Most human beings are operating far below God’s ‘norm’ – which is why the Messiah told us that only sick people need a physician – those that are ‘whole’ don’t need help.

This is the reason Christians should not bang others over the head with the Bible. Perhaps they are not sick.

If you need help in any area of your life, perhaps my lesson can be YOUR lesson. Know this, if you consider yourself a child of God, expect God to correct you when you are out of the way. Expect trouble in your life. Expect to lose. Expect to confront all areas of your life where you are lying to yourself.

Perhaps you can learn from my fall and avoid the terrible judgment that is coming to America and to the whole world.

Some people would have you believe that we are headed into a time a peace – the “Imagine” lyrics of John Lennon. I wish it were so.

The prophecies have all been spoken and there is only one thing we can do: change our ungodliness before it is too late.

This is my hope and my prayer for America.

 

 

Small Talk

The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

Isaiah found his voice.

John the Baptist found his voice.

I have been searching for mine my entire life.

I thought I found it once or twice, but it was only the arrogance of a young woman with an axe to grind. (Sometimes the ones who talk the most have the least to say.)

No, the voice I am referring to is the one that steps out of the fire.

This voice has a root.

This voice has a purpose beyond itself.

This voice can endure anything.

This voice cannot be frightened.

This voice is alive in the silence.

This voice cannot die.

In the beginning, before the dirt became man, there was only darkness: a shapeless planet and One Voice.

This Voice spoke delicately and carefully, and with great precision, aimed three words into the heart of darkness.

"Light, come forth!"

And it was so.

There was no persuading.

There was no manipulating.

There was no wishful thinking.

There was only One Voice and three words.

I am now half a century old.

I have heard millions of words in my lifetime.

I have heard them riddled, rattled and ruffled.

But never (no never), have I heard such few words with such power.

Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.

Don't Wait for Death to Free You

Get out of your smallness.

Something bigger than you is happening.

The earth does not revolve around you.

You are not the center of the Universe.

How far can your eyes see?

Is your world small, containing only that which you possess?

Or can you see past your nose?

Past your job?

Past your bills?

Past your home?

Past your losses?

Past your pain?

Past your material things?

Something bigger than you is happening.

You are part of it.

God has a great plan and you're in it.

Whether you believe it or not, like it or not, does not matter.

God gave you life and determined your years and your part in His great plan.

If you can stretch your mind and open your eyes, you will see it.

Then your life will have meaning.

Your fear will vanish.

Your pain will be healed.

You will laugh at your loneliness for you will know that you are never alone.

How far can your eyes see?

Do you see the well of God's provision?

Do you see Him scraping His toes with your silver and gold?

God is not fretting.

He gives no thought to money.

No one can extort Him.

No one can buy His good things because He gives them away.

When you begin to think like Him, you will give yourself away.

What is that you are clutching?

What is that thing you are afraid to lose?

Don't be so silly.

Don't be so foolish.

Once upon a time, you entered this world without knowledge.

You were free.

You only needed to breathe.

Soon, you will leave this world.

You will take nothing with you except the thing you entered with.

This is why your soul is more important than money.

Don't wait for death to free you.

Free yourself now.

Let go.

Breathe.

The Truth Underneath

What if you were handed a list of words, a subject, and five minutes to write?

This past year, I attended a one-day writing workshop in Los Angeles. We were given several writing exercises throughout the day. This one was one of my favorites.

Our list of words: Autumn, candle, coin, poppy, landscape, calendar, vision, obvious, cruel, translucent.

Our subject: Mirrors

Midway through the exercise, we were told to STOP. From that stopping point, we had to begin the next section with "This is all surface. The truth underneath is... "

Here is that little exercise from my pen.

Mirrors are strange things. On one hand, they can paint the entire landscape of your life. I have seen the spring, summer and autumn of my years.

Mirrors are cruel too because if you live long enough, you know the winter is coming.

It's as if mirrors contain a translucent calendar of your face-to-face meetings with mortality.

On the other hand, mirrors are like a coin, holding up two sides of your existence: the one you can see and the one you cannot.

This is all surface. The truth underneath is...

I am a spirit that is ageless and timeless, trapped for a brief second in this mortal body.

Soon to be released...

Soon to look back at the mirror and laugh in its face.

True, my life is a candle.

True, my vision has dimmed.

But just like the poppy, you will see me again.

Worry Warts

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life?  It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

We were not designed to worry.

Worry is an uncomely blemish on a perfect body – a body designed to contain your spirit.

If you have a spirit, it does not matter what your body looks like. Your spirit is the important part.

Your spirit was designed to communicate with God. If the line is dead, you will worry.

If your spirit is not being fed, your body will suffer. Your body knows what it was designed for.

Worry is what happens when the spirit is neglected and the body is left on its own.

When was the last time you fed your spirit? Perhaps it is starving.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Reality Check

Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?

Life is not fair. There are no guarantees with anything.

If you are not lucky, chances are you will be miserable.

If you are not wealthy, chances are you will spend your life trying to make money.

If you are not connected, chances are you will never get your “big break” and your talent will die with you. 

If you are not a thankful person by nature, chances are you have a disease. You are most likely bound up with resentment, perhaps even bitterness. This root will wrap itself around you and choke every ounce of life from you.

If you spend your time comparing yourself to someone else, you are certain to be disappointed. You will drive pass your blessings.

If you can stop defining success and start identifying the good things in your life, you can get a good grasp on reality. Things can always be worse. A lack of gratitude will get you there fast.

Slow down.

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.

Growing Up

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I was incredibly immature when I reached adulthood. I had no concept of “relationship” and what it took to build one. I possessed an absolute lack of reality and what it took to build anything, especially meaningful relationships.

Being born and raised in Los Angeles produced an aura of fantasy and illusion on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong. I take the blame. I ate from the tree.

I grew up with my own definition of reality: everything I wanted I should have.

I resented my working class father with his Mississippi roots. In my mind, he was out of step with time and the Hollywood lifestyle I imagined myself living. I rebelled against his simplicity and his willingness to accept life as it was delivered to him. I wanted more.

I am not proud of this, but it is the truth, and it must be said.

The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give.

There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not,
It is enough: The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.

I learned to take and never be satisfied. I don’t know how I contracted this disease, but it spread throughout my entire body.

The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.
From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it;
but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed,
neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.

Now, I understand the importance of humility. I understand the necessity of brokenness.

If we cannot accept responsibility for our diseases, we cannot be healed of them.

Two Things Plague Human Beings:

The never-ending pursuit of happiness and the hatred of loneliness.

Through the Glass Darkly

Dear Sojourner,

This writing represents 55 years of living and 30 years of searching. I think I died somewhere along the way, but I cannot pinpoint the exact date. Hopefully, you will take my word for it, as this writing is proof that I am still alive and the reason I believe in the resurrection of the dead.

This writing is the work I was called to do.

I have often felt as if I was searching for some lost city – some island of life free of fear, injustice and pain. I knew I did not want to toil for things and come up empty at the end of my life.

Really, all I ever wanted was for someone to love me. I never imagined that I would learn to love others and participate in the love I was searching for.

God is here, ever present among us, waiting for His creation to wake up and do the work He created them for.

I am one of you.

If you are sleeping right now, my hope is that this writing will stir you out of your slumber.

This is not a fairytale. It is real and it happened to me. However, I do not expect this writing to become famous or reach the bestseller list. I expect this little book will reach you by the hand of a warrior – the spiritual creatures that salt the earth and keep it full of flavor.

I tell you, there is another world. It is full of grace and truth. It is my earnest prayer that your eyes can see through the dark glass and absorb the glory of that place. Everything you dream of is waiting for you there.

Peace,

The Writer